Gerald Lee Jordan counselling and therapy

Ten Self-help Books for Couples

1. “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John Gottman, PhD

Renowned psychologist John Gottman shares insights gained from years of research and counselling in this book. He outlines seven principles that can help couples build and maintain a strong and lasting marriage. Gottman’s approach is based on scientific evidence and focuses on improving communication, resolving conflicts, and fostering intimacy.

2. “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” by Gary Chapman

In this bestseller, marriage counsellor Gary Chapman introduces the concept of love languages - the different ways people give and receive love. Chapman identifies five primary love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Understanding each other’s love language can enhance communication and deepen emotional connection in marriage.

3. “Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” by Dr. Sue Johnson

Dr. Sue Johnson, a leading expert in couples therapy, presents Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) in this book. Through seven transformative conversations, couples learn to recognise and address patterns of negative interaction and emotional disconnection. Johnson emphasises the importance of emotional responsiveness and secure attachment in creating a fulfilling marital bond.

4. “Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples” by Harville Hendrix, PhD

Harville Hendrix, a renowned therapist and educator, introduces Imago Relationship Therapy in this groundbreaking book. Hendrix explores how childhood experiences shape adult relationships and offers exercises to help couples heal past wounds and deepen connection. Through practical tools and insights, couples learn to cultivate empathy, understanding, and mutual growth.

5. “His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage” by Willard F. Harley, Jr.

In this book, marriage counsellor Willard F. Harley, Jr. examines the fundamental needs of men and women in marriage. He identifies common relationship pitfalls and provides strategies for meeting each other’s emotional needs. Harley emphasises the importance of prioritising the marital relationship and offers practical advice for building trust and intimacy.

6. “The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships” by John Gottman, PhD

John Gottman, along with co-author Joan DeClaire, presents practical strategies for improving all types of relationships in this book. Gottman draws on his research to outline five steps for fostering emotional connection, resolving conflicts, and building trust. Through insightful anecdotes and exercises, couples learn to enhance their communication skills and deepen intimacy.

7. “Hold Me Tight: Your Guide to the Most Successful Approach to Building Loving Relationships” by Dr. Sue Johnson

Dr. Sue Johnson offers an accessible guide to her Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) approach in this book. Through real-life examples and practical exercises, couples learn to identify and address negative interaction patterns, strengthen emotional bonds, and create a more secure and fulfilling relationship.

8. “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert” by John Gottman, PhD

John Gottman’s influential work is distilled into actionable advice in this practical guide. With a focus on building friendship, managing conflict, and nurturing intimacy, Gottman provides couples with tools and exercises to strengthen their relationship and navigate the challenges of married life successfully.

9. “The 5 Love Languages for Couples: Tools for Building a Healthy Relationship” by Gary Chapman

In this companion book to “The 5 Love Languages,” Gary Chapman offers specific strategies for applying the concept of love languages in a romantic relationship. Through quizzes, activities, and real-life examples, couples learn how to express love in ways that resonate with their partner’s preferences, leading to greater connection and satisfaction.

10. “Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - and Keep - Love” by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

Psychiatrist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel Heller explore the science of adult attachment in this insightful book. Drawing on research in psychology and neuroscience, the authors explain how attachment styles influence romantic relationships and offer practical advice for creating secure and fulfilling bonds with your partner.