Narrative Marriage Therapy

04 Dec 2023

Sharing Narratives

Couples enter relationships with their own narratives and they develop further narratives together, based on their own initial narratives. There is a problem for many couples because their initial narratives are never verbalised and shared, leading to confusion and distortions as shared narratives are developed.

Individual Narratives Example

If one partner enters the relationship believing that the relationship is for life (because of something like their parents’ relationship) and the other partner thinks that relationships are only valuable when they function well - and can be cast aside when not desirable - this couple is going to suffer. Certainly, the partner who thought they were going to get into this relationship for life will suffer.

The Intersection Between Narrative Therapy and Cognitive Therapy

The process of Narrative Therapy when working with families will involve looking at the narratives of the individuals as well as the narratives the couple created together. Intertwined with this will be the cognitive processes that strengthen narratives and help to create new ones. For example, if the couple have “should” statements that have been unexamined, these will need to be considered. If the couple believe that the other partner “should” do certain things - without actually verbalising these expectations, this can drive further conflict. Therapy will look at the narratives themselves - perhaps verbalising them for the first time - but will also look at the cognitive distortions that drive these narratives. In this way, two powerful therapeutic approaches are woven together to help couples survive and thrive.

Narrative Therapy for Couples

If you are looking for Narrative or Cognitive Therapy in Nelson, Aotearoa New Zealand, or online, you can book sessions with us (booking link in the menu) to work through your relationship issues. We are here to help!