Over the last months, I have given a great deal of thought to counseling Christians. Part of the motivation for these thoughts is my own religious background. I was religious for seventeen years and a theologian for seven of those years. Part of the stimulus for these thoughts has also been my hesitancy to counsel Christians. Clients and counselors should have a good fit – never simply go with a therapist for convenience reasons! – and for me as a therapist, counseling Christians has never been desirable. To attempt to work with a client through their issues when there is, as the saying goes, “an elephant in the room” seems less than honest and suggests an absence of one of Carl Roger’s cornerstones for the therapeutic relationship – congruency on the part of the therapist.
So while I traditionally have eschewed working with Christians, of late I have had a chance to reconsider this in the light of the theories of Existential Psychotherapy and in the light of the rise of efforts to counsel clergy leaving religion (e.g., The Clergy Project at www.clergyproject.org/). In this article I will very briefly discuss the application for Existential Psychotherapy for clergy wishing to leave their faith, but the principles apply equally for anyone who is questioning or desires to put aside their Christian beliefs.
Existentialism as a Counseling Framework for Questioning Religious Beliefs
In order to understand how Existentialism is suitable for counseling those questioning their faith, a cursory examination of Existential Psychotherapy is required. Existentialism is about freedom and the anxiety which arises as a result of this freedom. The philosophy began with Søren Kierkegaard (1813 – 1855) and found its greatest spokesman in Jean-Paul Sartre (1905 – 1980). While these thinkers developed Existentialism as a philosophy and therefore deserve mention, the integration of Existential philosophy into psychotherapy is generally accredited to Irvin Yalom (USA) and other therapists such as Emmy van Deurzen (UK).
In a nutshell:
Existential psychotherapy is a philosophical method of therapy that operates on the belief that inner conflict within a person is due to that individual’s confrontation with the givens of existence [Yalom, I (1980). Existential psychotherapy. New York: Basic Books. p. 9.]. These givens, as noted by Irvin D. Yalom, are: the inevitability of death, freedom and its attendant responsibility, existential isolation (referring to Phenomenology), and finally meaninglessness. These four givens, also referred to as ultimate concerns, form the body of Existential Psychotherapy and compose the framework in which a therapist conceptualizes a client’s problem in order to develop a method of treatment. In the British School of Existential therapy (Cooper, 2003), these givens are seen as predictable tensions and paradoxes of the four dimensions of human existence, the physical, social, personal and spiritual realms (Umwelt, Mitwelt, Eigenwelt and Uberwelt).
(Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Existential_therapy, Accessed 05 April 2012)
These four ultimate concerns of death, freedom, isolation and meaninglessness can serve as a framework for counseling clergy and others leaving their faith. In considering these givens of existence, it is worth noting initially that Existential Psychotherapy is not for everyone! This therapy requires that the client be willing to question the basis of his or her very existence. Many are either not willing or not up to this challenge. In my experience, this modality of counseling works best with clients who come to therapy already in existential crisis – that is, already asking themselves significant questions (or having significant doubts) about their lives. Clergy seeking to question or leave their faith arguably fit into this category.
Considerations of Death
The fear of death is difficult for any of us to confront. Upon considering the likelihood that religious beliefs are not based upon a solid foundation (i.e., a “real” deity), the Christian can feel overcome with anxiety, fear and grief – anxiety for the end of one’s existence at death, fear of death itself and renewed grief for the loss of loved ones which were previously imagined to be residing in a heavenly abode. As the fear of death is one of the reasons to create an afterlife in the first place, confronting this fear can be one of the main reasons to push rational thought from one’s mind and cling even more tenaciously to religious faith.
Considerations of Freedom
Christians believe that their lives are controlled, both at the micro and macro levels (we will not go into the theological minutia here of the concept of “free will”) by an omnipotent being. Once that being ceases to exist in the mind of the former believer, the realisation of freedom can be extremely anxiety provoking. As Kierkegaard so eloquently stated, “Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom”. Freedom within their own minds, freedom of action and the individual responsiblity for such freedom can seem overwhelming to those who formerly believed themselves under the guiding hand of a benevolent and omniscient being.
Considerations of Isolation
We all create support systems to fight the isolation of life and death. We fight the isolation of life by creating family and other support networks and by valuing such concepts as “loyalty”. We fight the isolation of death by imagining an afterlife, by creating eloborate death rituals and by trying to imagine our loved ones by our side when death comes for us (but try to also forget that we will die alone, no matter how many may be at our bedside). When a person casts aside their god(s), the isolation can be overwhelming. Not only does the former believer lose the imagined deity, but can end up losing family and friends who refuse not only to consider the life change of the individual, but who also often shun the former believer. The isolation is not only theoretical, but very real.
Considerations of Meaninglessness
We all fight meaninglessness in many ways. We attempt to “better” ourselves through work, study and other pursuits that we consider meaningful. We attempt to imagine that we are somehow eternal through our offspring. We attempt to imagine that we are making meaninful contributions to the lives of our friends. Upon casting aside religious meaning, the former Christian can feel that their life to this point was meaningless. Theology studies were meaningless (experienced this one, myself). Preaching, teaching and work in churches was meaningless. Feeling such a lack of meaning can lead to depression in the former believer (something to watch out for and perhaps the topic of another article).
This cursory examination of Existential Psychotherapy is intended to suggest that this framework can be of significant benefit in conceptualising working with Christians attempting to challenge their beliefs. At no point would I advocate the use of this approach to “convert”, but rather as a paradigm for helping people work through their own questions and psychological issues.
Finally, while Existential Psychotherapy can provide a loose framework to understand the client, the actual therapeutic process could take place within the context of a more concrete methodology, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT is one of the most fully researched and clinically effective therapy approaches and could prove invaluable in such areas as helping the client to challenge dysfunctional thinking. Perhaps yet another article in the making!
Challenging our thinking can be the most confronting act imaginable. Those who are brave enough to look into their belief system are worthy of our respect and support. As one who has made this journey, I would say to others that it can be extremely anxiety provoking, but you can make it through to the other side, where you can find a greater understanding of self and peace.
Wishing all the best of mental health!
