Awesome is not

The papers today are filled with news,
of a Presidential Decree in the U.S. of A.
As of midnight tonight,
There will be no more “awesome” in the land of Uncle Sam.

It seems that this word has been overused,
Has worn out its welcome on those shores.

Too lazy to consult a thesaurus –
“What is that?”, many ask.
Too uneducated to expand either the vocabulary or the mind,
The populace has been going around saying “awesome” in all circumstances.
From weddings,
To parties,
To ceremonies,
To academic events.

Debate rages over when this pest took hold in the vernacular of the people.
Credible sources say it gained prominence from lazy surfer lingo during the eighties.
Others say it was the term of choice of simplistic Republicans (which accounts for most of them).

The President has decided that the use of this term,
Carries a prison sentence.
This serves the dual purpose,
Of freeing the populace from “awesome”,
And helping to increase employment in the largest job place in America.

So, before midnight tonight, my fellow Americans,
get your awesome fix,
of most awesome usage,
in the most awesome proportions,
for as of tomorrow morning,
you will land in the most awesome jail,
and that will certainly not be awesome.

The President suggests that the citizenry become acquainted with a thesaurus,
Expanding our vocabulary beyond that of the average nine year old.
That will be all.

Gerald Lee Jordan
Diamond Harbour NZ
18 February 2013